Exercise, dieting and my views on beautiful

I decided here recently that it was time to lose some of this weight I seem to have been packing on. Apparently food has been tasting pretty good as of late and my clothes don’t seem to stretch as much as my body has. I figured I’ve bought these nice clothes, I might as well fit into them without having to do the “hop, skip and jump” dance around the room, which by the way, I have perfected! I look like I’m at a hoe down and getting down with my bad self!!

As some of you may have come to realize over the last year’s of knowing me, I’m not one of those type of girls that is vain. You ask me a question, I’ll answer it (unless it’s just absolutely too personal or none of your damn business). So, I am a 29 year old, 190 pound, size 14 pants wearing girl. I’m not ashamed to tell you that. I’m not embarrassed by my size. There are however some parts of me that have decided to take on a mind of their own and go totally crazy. Y’all know what a muffin top is right?? Ya… like that. But seriously, if I were to work my ass off and get rid of the flab I want to see gone and still turned out to be 190 pounds, I’m totally ok with that!!

In todays society the media has tried to depict “sexy and beautiful” as a size 00, no bugger because to them, that is fat. My question to that is seriously how can someone still be breathing if they are a size 00?? I just don’t understand how that is sexy or even healthy but THAT is what the world wants us to view and try to become and it’s horrible and tragic. The media knows 98% of girls have a self image problem, and they feed of that like a succubus! Most of the time it sells the newest and latest trend in weight loss because girls want to look like that woman on the cover of Sports Illustrated (the guys wants us to look like that too), but more often then not, the media kills girls by this branding because they get bullied for their weight or looks or look in the mirror and can’t ever see themselves as beautiful. Well, I’m here to say I have seen many beautiful skinny girls, but I have seen more extraordinarily beautiful big girls. We are all beautiful and sexy in our own ways. It doesn’t have to be the whole package. The ones who look in the mirror everyday, go out into public everyday and don’t care how other people see them and are just who they are meant to be… they are, to me, the most beautiful of all. So people need to quit taking what the stupid magazines say as the gospel, because to me, it’s a huge load of horse shit.

Now as I said before, I am totally good with my size. I can look in the mirror and feel good about what I see. I may not be a girl with the flat abs or perfect measurements, but I know I am beautiful. I won’t strut around like some stuck up bitch thinking I’m better than everyone, but I am good with myself. I am however NOT good with not being able to fit into my favorite style of jeans that cost more than I would have ever paid before on jeans!! And being that they cost so much, I better damn well get to wear them no matter what I have to do!

This post isn’t to tell you that I think I’m pretty, that tabloids are bullhonkey,  or that because I’m doing this you all should think about it too… no, it’s just me venting because I’ve put myself on a strange diet and am going to the gym (this just started so I’ve only gone to the gym once… don’t judge me) to try and tame the wild beast that I call hips! Really, my hips and legs are the only things I want to trim down… they’re the only damn things that my pretty expensive jeans hate!!

So to close this rant, I will apologize for it being SUCH a rant. Probably making most of you question my sanity as I am doing right now. I went on this diet at the beginning of the month after we got home from our last trip and it’s killing me. There is so much food in the house right now and it’s stuff I have told myself I cannot have… and it really doesn’t help when someone in the family offers me chips and I say no but that voice in my head is screaming at me and going crazy saying “TAKE THE DAMN THING!!! EAT IT NOW! EAT ALL OF IT!!”. Ya, I hate that voice. She’s incredibly annoying.

All I want is for some miracle to happen in the middle of the night that sucks the fat out of my hips and legs, making them a reasonable size so I can get back to normalcy and I can have a damn cheeseburger!!! With fries. Curly ones because they have that seasoning on them, Oooo and a chocolate milkshake!! With whipped cream and a cherry on top!! DAMN IT!! *sigh I’m so hungry. Bye everyone

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